Drinking water is hardcore

May 3, 2014 Health

10 years ago I wrote an insane article on my old website trickstutorials.com about how drinking water was hardcore.  I posted some bad science, fanaticism, and a picture of me drinking water out of a hose.

Jujimufu, water, hose

Here I am drinking water out of a hose back in 2003.

Surprisingly, I continued to get positive e-mails year after year about that stupid article.  It seemed to have changed some people’s lives. And I believe them, because here I am, almost 30 years old, and I can tell you that the second biggest catalyst towards my physical evolution that I have identified, was when I started drinking plain water instead of flavored beverages when I was a 13 year old kid.  (My biggest catalyst being invited to join a Taekwondo class by my old buddy Taegashi).

Water was my “gateway” into nutritional obsession.

For comparison, let’s consider gateway drugs.  Gateway drug theory suggests that the use of less deleterious drugs can lead to a future risk of using harder drugs.  What I’m suggesting is that creating a habit of drinking plain water instead of flavored beverages can lead to future nutritional optimizations.  It’s exactly what happened to me.  First I became obsessed with water and its health benefits, then I became interested in foods and their health benefits, then I became interested in supplements and their health benefits, then I bought some protein powder and creatine, then I became Jujimufu.

Jujimufu drinking Fiji Water, Fiji Water,

Water was what transformed me into Jujimufu

I whole heartedly believe that the habit of replacing all flavored beverages in my diet in my early teens was what lead me to ongoing nutritional excellence.

Getting used to drinking water changes your taste organs

All my friends and family have always been amazed at my ability to “endure” very bland foods and love it.

Jujimufu cream of rice

Cream of rice with nothing in it? I LOVE IT!

Antoine Vaillant has always envied this in me, so much to the extent he has named it as one of my super powers and makes jokes about it.  I can eat a bowl of cream of rice with nothing in it and I enjoy it as much as a bowl of ice cream.  I eat protein powders unflavored and unsweetened.  I don’t need to put sauces and spices on almost anything.  Bland is how I eat, yet I don’t feel deprived or feel like I’m dieting.  This is one of the reasons I’ve been shredded for almost a decade.

Jujimufu flexing, Jujimufu muscle

And you know what the secret to my super power of being able to eat bland diet food is?  You guess correct if you answered WATER.  Learning to drink water in place of every beverage throughout the day actually changed my taste buds.  It will change yours too. Look, I have no science to back this up but here’s a test for you, go find someone who drinks almost nothing but water throughout the day and see how much of a picky eater they are.  You won’t find very many picky eaters, who can also endure bland foods, who also drink water almost exclusively compared to other drinks, and drink a lot of it.  Evidence is everywhere, go look.  The more water someone drinks, the better they are eating.  The better they are eating, the prettier they are.  Period.

Water makes you beautiful.  Drinking water is sexy.

Go look in all the women’s fitness magazines and it won’t take long for you to find a picture of some youthful, pretty lady drinking a glass or bottle of pure water.  Just google it: Woman drinking water

woman drinking water

This is begging to be photoshopped.

Why are there so many pictures of this? Because it’s sexy.  Water is sexy, it’s purity, it’s healthy, it’s beautiful.  Healthy and purity is beauty.  The more water you drink the more beautiful you will be,  for subjective reasons as much as established medical reasons. It’s the preferred drink of beautiful people as well as hardcore people.

Drinking water is respectable and will make you friends

You go out to eat with your parents.  What do you order to drink?  “Just a glass of water.” Your parents will respect you for saving them $1 on some stupid drink like iced tea or soda.  You’re a guest at someone’s house and they ask if you want something to drink. “If I could just have a glass of water that would be great.  Thank you.” Your guest will respect you for your moderation and restraint, and will be thankful for the ease of fulfilling your request.  People appreciate water drinkers because they’re easy to please and can take care of themselves if they get thirsty.  You’ll have more friends.  And money, because water is free from tap or a purifier.

You have to try it to believe it

My fanatacism about drinking pure water is cult-like.  While I don’t drink out of the hose anymore, I do walk around like some 90s bodybuilder with a gallon jug of water. Or I’m scuttling about town with some other drinking vessel.

Jujimufu Oakley container

My companion water vessel.

I worship the water cooler at my workplace, I bow down before it as if it’s the alter of life, several times a day.  And it is.  Water is life, pure, unadultered, real,  and raw.  Water is for the brave, the beautiful, the strong, the hardcore.  Worshippers of water are bigger, stronger, faster, leaner, have better sex, have more sex, have better friends, have more friends, make more money, build greater legacies and live happier more exciting lives than people who gloss over water.  Don’t listen to those people who suggest you can get your daily “water” requirement from drinking other drinks like tea or fruit drinks or whatever.  They’re wrong, and they are totally missing out on the life transformation possible from converting to drinking only pure water.  And they are all ugly.  All of them.  Start drinking water now.  GO!  I have created you a guide here: Learn to drink water!

acrobolix_background_jujimufu_water_the_magic_potion

21 comments

  1. hans says:

    ‘water the magic potion’ was great. i used to drink like 500ml a day and felt horrible in almost every aspect imaginable. nowadays i drink 4 liters a day at least, excluding my pre bedtime milk. it feels awesome. i hardly get anymore headaches, acne cleared up considerably, saved a shitload on beverages and generally feel like my organs couldn’t run any smoother. the only con is that i have to pee too damn often haha. and i have you to thank for that.

    • Jon Call says:

      Sometimes I find I have to force more water down to get that good feeling from water. My body almost always seems to demand less than optimal. So I have to drink an extra 8-16 ounces at a time here and there during the day more than I want, like I have to force it down when I don’t want to, and then when I do that I feel it. Do you experience something similar hans?

      • hans says:

        got a reply from you, i can die in peace.

        yes i do, actually. sometimes i realise i drank too little for the day and try to make up for it by chugging down more even if i feel like i’m not thirsty. i try to get down 4 liters at least. the good feeling isn’t very apparent for me, unless it’s subtle and i don’t realise it. but it did feel good this other day when i had 6 liters of cold water throughout the day when i was studying. really felt the difference.

        oh and i’ve been meaning to ask you. do you drink cold water at mealtimes? i try my best to drink cold at every point of the day except right after meals. do you think that it makes a difference in preventing fat solidification?

        • Jon Call says:

          No go ahead and drink it cold at mealtime it’s fine.

        • Disney says:

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  2. Rory says:

    I love water. I made drinking half a litre as soon as I woke up a habit and drink it all the time. Just down pints and pints throughout the day. Water intoxication my ass!

  3. PureApeshit says:

    I DRINK WATER!!!!!! i never have problem of wanting to drink water, i sleep with bottle of water next to bed cause before i would get up at night and want drink wateeeerrrrr, i drink drink drink!!!!!! as traveling nomad iv been in situations with no water and it made me respect water so much, i have even emergency method where i connect two bottles hermeticaly with plastic bag or tube or whatever and one has shitwater like sea water or squashed plants like cactus or piss any liquid with water basicaly and other bottle is kept empty, then i put side with shit watter on sun or near fire heat, any heat source and other bottle in shade or anything cooling and this way i can distile some water anywhere prety much!!!!

  4. Towels says:

    I grew up on Diet Pepsi because my Dad loved that shit and I was about what my Dad was about.

    Then I heard my older brother’s friends on the soccer team talk about how during season they drink only water and they play much better.

    I was a little kid and very impressionable so I took this to heart.

    Now my tongue has developed a “Taste” for water.

    I have pinpointed the quench and it feels good to quench.

    If It’s a flavored drink it’s food, and if I’m not hungry I don’t like to drink it because it doesn’t give me the Quench.

    Fuck Sierra Mist. “Thirst Quencher” my ass

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  6. Kitosho says:

    Hey Juji! Years later, this is still one of my first and favorite articles. We are lucky to live in a country that has access to clean water! This makes water like a gourmet beverage for the wealthy. And yet, because of its simplicity, it’s also the perfect hydrator for the common man, the tribal man, the indigenous man! Also, because everyone on earth shares the same water supply, our bodies are like filters for water: In fact, probably the finest, most sophisticated filter imaginable! This gives me a strange mental impression, though, because it’s like our bodies are taking in the toxins present in water unto itself. I guess that’s a great reason to exercise, though – we can then sweat out all the impurities, leaving only the essence of purity and health. It’s a big improvement from soft drinks and MONSTER, though, because in those you’re filtering TONS of things out of the water, as opposed to the barely noticeable minerals present in simple water.

    Every now and then I try to drink a glass of tap water too. This way I can conquer my fear of the unknown. Also, once every month or two (or if you do cheat days this is fine I’m sure) you should drink a massive amount of some horrible sugar drink until you’re disgusted with it. drink 2 whole 2 liters of Orange Fanta and watch as you dissolve into a sweaty, shaking heap, like the guy from Trainspotting. This would be a good day to have a tricking session too. I don’t know, this was sort of a throwaway paragraph.

    Thank you for teaching us that water is hardcore! WATER FOR LIFE!

    • Jon Call says:

      Haha thanks Kitosho! However, I won’t be trying your Orange Fanta experiment… I think Trainspotting is that movie about the Heroin addict who swims into a a really nasty toilet? I forget.

      Anyway I’m glad you feel as enthusiastic about water as me. I can look at all sorts of people I know in my life who, if they drank more water, would do a lot better than they are doing. Dehydration is subtle, nobody has the instinct to drink enough non-water beverages to really stay properly hydrated. Doing so gives tons of energy. And the cumulative effect of drinking garbage caloric beverages like these can go unnoticed pretty easily. They were always pudgy, they never knew any different, oh well. A big problem solver in their life could be simply drinking shit loads of water in place of everything else they would drink, but nobody really sells that idea. Instead they sell it like some medical prescription “8 glasses blah blah blah” nobody gives a fuck about that. Gotta say it the way it’s supposed to be said: “Drinking water is hardcore.” 🙂

      Also happy to see you around these parts old friend… Btw, Dan Pitlock said I couldn’t be friends with him if I was friends with you. :-\

    • Irish says:

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  7. Dogen says:

    Making the same kind of positive impact on my life as the article you wrote years ago! Huge fan of how well you’ve managed to channel your personality into this website as well. Cheers from Japan! I’ll always be a fan.

  8. Gaur says:

    What about sparkling water ? I find myself wanting sparkling water lately after drinking some bottles. A glass with half a lemon squeezed feels good.

    • Jujimufu says:

      Sparkling water is just fine as long as you’re drinking enough. I find it harder to drink more sparkling water than normal water.

  9. […] – CrossFit DC + Am I About to Die? – Ricardo Lockette for The Players’ Tribune + Drinking Water is Hardcore – […]

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