Jujimufu fanny pack

$29.95

Be the alpha

When I was an impressionable 16 year old, the biggest, buffest, strongest (and nicest) guy in my gym always sported a fanny pack. He was always smiling, laughing and cracking up. He was someone I looked up to, he was a big, buff, and strong and his light attitude made me feel welcome! But that fanny pack though! One day, it piqued my interest, I told him that I was going to get a fanny pack too! Suddenly, his demeanor changed to something I’d never seen in the years I knew him: he was as serious and cold as stone, he looked pissed. He brought his face close to my own and stared at me for a solid 5 seconds before he spoke these words slowly to me one at a time, each one standing on its own. “No. Only. The. Alpha. Wears. The. Fanny. Pack.” It was as if he was spelling out to me a great warning. He continued to stare at me, waiting for my response. I was scared! But, in that moment I realized the urgency of the matter. I grew a new respect for the fanny pack. “Okay. Okay I won’t get a fanny pack.” He said nothing more, and he never broke back into a smile for any reassurance to me. He then turned and walked into the back of the gym. “Only the alpha wears the fanny pack.” I’ve never forgotten those words. I think of them every time I wear my fanny pack, and I ask myself “Am I alpha enough for this fanny pack?” Yes. I am. And now I’m selling my favorite size/shape fanny pack to all you out there who are alpha enough to wear a fanny pack.

In stock

SKU: FANNY1 Category:

Description

The best fanny pack build

I’ve been a fanny pack alpha for 4 years now and I’ve moved through several different styles. My favorite style is this fanny pack style. I like the larger size, larger opening for the main compartment, and the simplicity (all the extra little pockets in other fanny packs get annoying). We put a larger clip buckle on it, because that’s very important so your fanny pack doesn’t fall off easily. Finally, this is a non-denominational fanny pack, meaning the Acrobolix patch (sold separately) or any other patch you want, can be worn on it or without. You can put any 3″ x 5 ” standard size velcro patch you want on it. So you can make it your very own if you don’t want to be a walking billboard for Acrobolix. Trust me, once you go fanny pack, you don’t go back. These things change your life when you become the fanny packer.

What’s in my fanny pack?

What does Jujimufu keep inside his fanny pack? This stuff! (This stuff and Acrobolix Patch not included.)

  • Watch (when it’s not on my wrist)
  • D8 dice (for making decisions)
  • Large coin (for making decisions)
  • Car key
  • Pony tail holders (I got long hair)
  • Passport
  • Short metal spork tool
  • Doohicky bottle opener
  • SOG Knife
  • 4 different writing utensils
  • A battery pack for charging my phone
  • A USB wall outlet for charging my phone
  • USB charging cables
  • Wallet
  • Pill box
  • Ear plugs
  • Ear buds